The Dos and Don'ts of Divorce

4th September 2020

DO

Do keep a record of important dates. For example, if you have separated, make sure you are both aware of the separation date as you may need to rely on it in a divorce petition.

Do try to keep the lines of communication open.

Do trust your instincts. You know your situation better than anyone and lawyers are there to advise you, not to tell you what to do. They are the experts and you should listen to them and evaluate their advice carefully.

Do complete all necessary paperwork to the best of your ability. You may not want to face the reality of separating your lives and finances. However, facing that fear and getting on top of your figures will not only give you the essential knowledge of what your new needs are but it will give you confidence. It will also reduce your legal costs.

Do ask questions. Lawyers may seem scary at times but they are on your side and there to help. Family lawyers often go into family law because they are naturally inclined to help people. Jersey law is not the same as the law in England and Wales and each situation is unique so don’t rely on your friends. And Google may take you to an advert for an American attorney, not the answer you are looking for.

A client’s advice: “Do take time to deal with your emotions. I wish I had been less emotional about the whole experience. I was lucky to have Nick as my lawyer as he was very caring but always professional and efficient but I have seen people engaged in drawn out legal battles because of their emotional pain.”

DON’T

Don’t agree to a raw deal just because you are desperate. Amicable negotiations are possible and are actively encouraged by the court. If you rush into an unfair deal you may well regret it.

Don’t hand over all your documents in a big pile and let the lawyers do all the work for you – unless you want to increase your costs that is. If you can provide the information and documentation needed in an organised way it will reduce your costs significantly.

Don’t feel bad about yourself because you are in this situation. Many people go through this and while it can be very hard, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Relationships can be very challenging but don’t give up faith in yourself or hope for the future. Deal with this properly now and set yourself up for the best possible fresh start.

A client’s advice: “Don’t lose sight of all of the blessings in your life even if you are having a really hard time. It is so important to focus on what you do have and focus on the positive aspects of the new life ahead. Having the right lawyer will really help you get through this journey and come out stronger on the other side.”